Challenging Your Fears

Fear is one of the basic human emotions that drive us. Whether it's a fear of starvation, of dying, or simply of the unknown, we fear what we can not expect as well as the things we have come to expect in our lives. Too often, this fear is crippling, even damaging. Thus, many people have turned to medications to help soothe their basic fears or they ignore them completely, to their eventual downfall - mentally and physically. Fear can be a healthy thing and it is meant to be helpful - but only if you stop to learn from your fears.

What are You Afraid of?

For most of us, listing our fears is a daily routine we do in our heads when we wake up. We fear getting to work late, heading into too heavy of traffic, etc. Right now, start a journal which you will carry around with you for one day, listing all of the fears you have as you go through your life. These can be silly fears (to you) as well as bigger fears. What you will notice at the end of this day is that your list is very, very long. Our lives are driven by fears and thus we tend to continuously come up with new ones in order to feel normal and sane.

Naming your fears is the first step to attacking them and turning them into allies instead of enemies.

Taking on Your Fears

Once you have this list of fears, you need to begin look at them from a practical and non-judgmental viewpoint. First of all, ask yourself if any of these fears came true. If so, circle the fear. If not, don't circle them. If you have a lot of circles, you're probably in the minority. Going to the circled entries, think about new ways that you can avoid these fears and make them less of a likelihood. This might mean that you avoid certain situations or that you learn how to adjust your life in order to stop them from coming true. For example, if you fear getting to work late, but you perpetually leave your house late too, you need to change the way you live in order to arrive at work on time.

After considering the fears which have come true, you can then move onto the fears which have not come to pass. These fears are the ones that need to be challenged. Ask yourself with each fear how this fear is either unlikely or if it is something you can control. For example, if you fear for the lives of your family, is there anything that indicates this might be reasonable right now? Ask yourself if there is anything you can do to help protect them? If you can not answer these questions, it's probably best that you begin to see the faults in your fearful thinking. These may be fears which are unreasonable for you to worry about - and you can begin to let them go or at least see their weakness.

Whenever you have a new fear, take a moment to follow this process in your head. Ask yourself if the fear is reasonable and if there is anything you can do. Once your mind begins to recognize that you are rationally looking at your fears, you will begin to see fewer fears popping up.

Quality Leads To Opposition

The following is based on over twenty years of study and experience. Some small amount of logic and good sense is thrown in to glue it together. The purpose of the following is to encourage the reader toward ever higher quality.

The natural tendency of people is to do things well, and correctly. No one-year-old ever tried to do something less well than he could. It follows, then, that any tendency to give less than one's best effort is a learned behavior. It further follows that what has been learned can be unlearned.

From a very early age, a child learns that not all of his efforts are appreciated and admired, at least not as much as he thinks they should be. He draws a picture he is proud of, and it gets a ho-hum response. He makes a mess while trying to help, and gets yelled at. At school, it only gets worse, with mediocre grades despite good effort, and with derision as a "teacher's pet" for showing interest or doing well.

What results is the unnatural tendency to hold back, to not try so hard. Call it the "Why Bother?" syndrome. What also results is unknowingly teaching this behavior to others, and reinforcing it generally. Everyone does this sometimes, if only by not admiring others' efforts.

Some people recognize that their life needs to improve. Some people rebel, because they know they are not living up to their potential, and want more from life. They start trying to improve quality, both in their own life and all around them. They start trying to make things better. And they discover that the world does not make that easy.

Opposition can take many forms, from outright obstacles to the most subtle kind of all: lack of appreciation. When a person does something well, and it doesn't get noticed, the "Why Bother?" syndrome kicks in, full force.

Change is possible. Improvement is possible. Self-improvement is possible. They are not only possible, they are relatively easy. So long as the intention continues. They may not happen as fast as you would like -- what does? -- but continued motion in the direction of improvement always yields progress.

The next time you put forth that extra little effort to do a job better, and someone says, "Why Bother," you can smile sweetly and say, "Oh, it's no bother." You don't need admiration or appreciation to do things better. It's nice when it comes, and it will come, but you don't need it.

Besides, you should know that someone does admire your efforts to improve, and does appreciate the things you do well. In fact, every reader of this article does, as you admire theirs. They are not alone, nor are you, in these efforts. You may be fought, or scorned, or ignored, as you push through the lowlands of mediocrity to the higher levels of quality. But you are not alone, and you are needed.

Self-Improvement: All About Quality

People run into two major problems when they try to apply self-improvement ideas or techniques:

1) They attempt too great a change in too short a time, and

2) They expect that by changing one aspect of their life, their whole life will improve.

Major changes are always an accumulation of minor changes. You don't change the direction of an ocean liner instantly, and a life has at least as much momentum as an ocean liner. Real self-improvement comes from small, directed changes, each one designed to improve one small aspect of life.

Self-improvement must involve all parts of one's life, because all those parts interact with each other. If they are not all getting better, improvement in one small area will not be stable, as the others will drag it back down. As an example, a student decides to study much harder and get better grades. This won't be possible if he has just as many distractions from friends, just as many money problems, and his girlfriend keeps getting mad at him.

The solution to both of these problems is to learn the actual principles of quality that underlie self-improvement. To improve anything is to increase its quality. This includes self. It includes life. Without knowing the principles of quality, attempts to improve it become "best guesses" or blindly following advice that worked for someone else or seems to make sense.

Here is the first major principle of quality: Quality Is An Attitude.

This simply means that you have decided to make things better. You have recognized that better is a good direction to move in, rather than letting things stay the same or get worse. Of course, deciding to do something and actually doing it are not the same things. That is where the rest of the principles come in. This first one, though, is necessary. You know you have a quality attitude when you see something that is not as good as it could be and you want to make it better. Maybe you can and maybe you can't, but you wish you could.

Here is the second major principle of quality: Quality Leads To Opposition.

What should be a relatively simple and essentially painless process, self-improvement, is made difficult. Improvement of any kind flies directly into the teeth of many people's fear of or distaste for change. Not knowing this, not expecting this, can make a person get discouraged in his attempts to change things in his life for the better.

Finally, here is the third and last major principle of quality: Quality Takes Time.

We get back to the ocean liner here. It doesn't turn on a dime. Neither does a life. When you start to improve an aspect of your life, it doesn't become perfect overnight. What it does do is start to turn. It starts to move more in the direction you want it to go. It starts to get better.

The above are very condensed, over-simplified explanations of some of the principles of quality. Even so, they contain the kernels of the truths a person needs to begin to make long-term, meaningful improvements in his or her life.

A Basic Grammar Glossary Might Be All You NeedA Basic Grammar Glossary Might Be All You Need

Grammar is like most subjects: you can learn the basics in a few hours, and spend a lifetime exploring its depths. How deeply you dive into any subject depends on two things: does it interest you, and do you need it? Grammar does not interest most people, but everyone needs it, at least a little.

The reason everyone needs to know at least the basic words of grammar is that they form part of the culture we live in. This culture expects a certain basic level of knowledge in its members, and those who don't have it get left out or are made fun of. High school is supposed to provide at least that basic level of knowledge. That is exactly why a high school degree is often required for employment.

Part of that basic level of knowledge is the common words of grammar. Noun, verb, adjective, and adverb are the four big ones, but there are about a dozen more that fall into the class of minimum basic grammar. Pronoun. Preposition. Present, past, and future tense. Direct object. Clause. Phrase. Sentence. Infinitive. Conjunction. Other people would add many more to this list, but these are the basic words that everyone is "expected" to understand.

Two difficulties face anyone who wants to learn the basic words of grammar: What are the basic words, and What do they actually mean in simple language? Most websites about grammar do not distinguish the basic, necessary words from all the rest. Then they use complicated language.

Your best bet is to compile or obtain a basic glossary of grammar. You can use the list above, and start visiting websites until you come up with definitions and examples of each of those words. Look for websites that are for children, or for English as a Second Language (ESL), or that call themselves "easy" or "basic." It probably won't take you nearly as long as you might think.

Write down the words on the list above and try to define them in your own words. Make up a half dozen examples of each grammar word. If you have trouble explaining what a grammar word means, or cannot easily make up examples of it, find another website that will explain it better. When you are satisfied that you have done this correctly for all the words on the list, ask someone to check your definitions and examples.

The whole process might take you two hours or six or even a bit more. It doesn't matter. That is not a lot of time to spend on something so important. Spread it out over a few days if you want to. Just don't get discouraged. If a website confuses you, go to a different one.

Some day in the not too distant future, you will hear one of these words in conversation, or on the television, or will read it in a book, and you will be very glad you went to the effort to find or make your own basic glossary of grammar. Everything will start making a lot more sense.

Yes, But Am I Happy?

By chance an old friend and I crossed paths as we were waiting for an elevator. We had always had lively discussions and both were between appointments so we struck up a conversation.

We updated each other on recent successes and failures--and since we'd both gone to the same University, touched briefly on the old alma mater.

After the pleasantries were past, we then entered into the 'important' things--the more serious things that mattered. He spoke of a friend that had gotten out of the 'rat race' for several years.

At that point, his old company offered his friend a 'big six-figure contract' to return and she accepted. We were both impressed with the salary he mentioned and joked about what kind of weekly paycheck she would get.

We were both envious. On a whim, perhaps a whim based somewhat on envy, I asked the simple question, 'yes, but is she happy?'

My friend became silent.

No, he finally answered. She was definitely not happy. Several years before she had left her job because it was not satisfying and because at 70 plus hours a week she had no personal life.

She had hoped at some point to remarry but was feeling like she was married to her job and no suitor could break up the family. The big salary did not make her happy.

If it were not for the money, she would quit and do what she really wanted to do. But she could not do that and remained miserable.

We ended our conversation slapping each other on the back and saying how lucky we were to be doing what we were interested in. We agreed to talk soon but we both knew our busy schedules would not make that possible any time soon.

Our conversation had lasted a half-hour; yet, this conversation is one that has replayed in my mind many times since then. Yes, but are we happy?

The analytical among us would press for a definition of happy. And probably that would make a good article. But somehow the question kept coming back and back.

If you look in the workplace you won't see too many happy people. You see owners that hate their industry, employees and customers.

And employees that show up for work only to get a paycheck as they whine and complain that nothing is ever good.

And managers that snap at employees as if they were unruly children. Why do people stay in positions they do not like? Why don't more people do what they want?

The question is an intriguing one. Most of my interest has been generated by the concept that the happy worker is a more productive worker.

Make the worker happy and you make production soar. On a simplistic level this is true.

But it goes beyond the simplistic. The question begs us to look deeper. This look is different for each of us so we cannot assume that what works for others will work for us.

There are no formulas or templates. And even if there were we should not trust them.

A friend many years back told me that we all want to live meaningful lives. Maybe a meaningful life is the key to happiness. Maybe not. That and having no regrets.

But what works for me may not work for you.

Many of us become obsessed with the pursuit of happiness. But this is one search you have to find for yourself. Since we spend much of our waking lives at work maybe you should ask this question at work?

Don't Stop Believing; the Law of Attraction is Still Working

Using the law of attraction is not about damage limitation; it's about creating your dream life! I talk to a lot of people who started out passionately learning how to use the law of attraction a couple of years ago, who are now just using it to tread water. It's natural for us that some of the enthusiasm wears off when something is no longer new and exiting, and as we loose the enthusiasm, we start falling into our old habits.

I hear people who were planning to live out their dream say things like "I'm doing ok, at least I'm not creating anything bad for myself." I personally can not think of a less exited or more bland way to look at your life. Ok, so you haven't lost anything, and life is pretty much what it used to be so everything is fine, right? Wrong! You didn't start out using the law of attraction to maintain what you had. You started out building your dream life and somewhere along the way you experienced either impatience, lack off faith or plain old fear of not succeeding so you kind of gave up and re-wrote your dreams to fit you level of enthusiasm.

I'm not trying to make you feel bad about where you are; I'm trying to get you to dig up your original dream and start creating on that again. If you are trying to tell me that things have changed and that you now realize that you don't really want that house or car or career that you first set your sights on, I don't believe you for a second. Stop lying to me, and most importantly; stop lying to yourself. The law of attraction operates on how you really think and feel, not on what you tell yourself to feel better about giving up or loosing faith.

Stop feeling bad about not having achieved it yet, and start using the law of attraction to create your dream again! You don't know how something is going to come about, that's not up to you. Your part of the job is to visualize yourself already having what you want and feeling good about knowing it's on its way. The rest is up to the universe.

My friend had a steady, well paying job but wanted something that gave her more challenges. Over the course of a couple of years she was considering leaving her job for more exiting but less secure ones but never acted because she was afraid of making a bad decision. I watched as she was more and more bored in her old job and heard her passionately talk about the life she could see herself having if she only took the jump and left her stabile job for a more exiting one. I tried to talk her into taking a leap of faith to realize her dream, but she was so caught in the paradigms of "safety over happiness" that she kept hesitating.

One day the universe acted for her. She called me up and told me she had just been let go from her stable well paying job; the company she worked for was closing down. As devastated as she was, she still acted fast and in five days she had a whole week of job interviews lined up. Here's the twist: she never even got to go to one job interview. Before the week was over she got a phone call from a company she had applied to yeas earlier but didn't get the job. She always referred to it as her dream job. The company told her they had heard rumors that she was back on the job market and wanted to snatch her up before someone else did. Not only did this girl get her dream job, it paid much more than her previous job.

Do you think my friend could see that the law of attraction was about to make her dream come true the day she was suddenly without a job? Of course not, but she was given a huge nudge from the universe and she acted on it.

Even though she was afraid to leave her secure job, my never lost faith that she could have the job of her dreams; she kept dreaming, she kept believing, and she was rewarded.

What are you so afraid of? Is failing really the end of the world? The way is see it, there is not such thing as failure if you really, really tried. The only thing stopping you from having what you want is you. Trust in your power to use the law of attraction, and welcome your dream. As long as you are doing your part right; as long as you are visualizing and feeling good about what is coming, you are on the right track.

The universe gives us nudges along the way too, and the law of attraction is always working. Keep your eyes open and you'll find the next step forward.

5 Proven Ways To Avoid Mental Blocks

Writing an article doesn't just mean putting down thoughts into words then typing and writing it. You have to capture the awareness of your readers, teach them valuable know-how and get them to keep on reading. To send your message across you have to get the attention of the reader and have a firm grasp of their interest and pique their curiosity.

The main ingredient in baking up an article is a large dose of creativity. While creativity may come natural to many people, some just gets into a block or something to that effect that can drive someone to feel slight at uneasy. Many writers have literally torn their hair out when they get writers block and just can't seem to get their creative juices flowing.

Putting words into images in the readers mind is an art. A clear and crisp depiction requires a certain flair that only creativity can provide. Similes and metaphors help a lot, but the way an article gets entwined word for word, sentence by sentence then paragraph by paragraph into a whole article develops the essence of the article.

So just what do you have to do when nothing comes to mind? There is no surefire ways to get the perfect ideas but there are easy ways to get your creative juices flowing. No one can guarantee you of having the perfect mindset but many methods may aid you in achieving that state of mind. Here are five battle tested easy ways to overcome such issues.

1) Keep a diary or a journal with you always. Ideas can be triggered by anything you may hear, see, or smell. Your senses are your radar in finding great ideas. Write all of them into a journal and keep it with you for future reference. You may also write down anything that you have read or heard, someone's ideas could be used to develop your own ideas and this is not stealing. Remember that ideas and creativity can come from anywhere; it's the development of the idea that makes it unique.

Not everyone are going to be able to remember to bring their journal or notepad along with them. However, it is highly likely that they would have their mobile on them. Today, mobiles has the capability to record instant audio and you can certainly take good advantage of your telephonic devices whenever that golden ideas start to kick in your head.

2) Relax and take time to sort things out. A jumbled mind cannot create any space for new ideas. Everyone must have a clear mind if one wishes to have their creativity in full speed. Get rid of all obstacles that can be a hindrance to your creativity. If you are bothered by something, you cannot force your mind to stay focused.

Try to relax every time that you can and think about your experiences and interactions with others. Your experiences are what shape your mindset and your opinions which could be reflected on your writings. Try to discover yourself, find out what triggers your emotions. Go back to the past. Discover what inspires you and what ticks you off. You can use these emotions to help you in expressing yourself and your ideas, with this you can grow creatively.

If it still fails, try to listen to calming music like the one you normally hear in the spa. You can easily buy these relaxing tunes from the music stores or download it off Itunes. You're bound to feel better in the end.

3) Create a working place that can inspire your creativeness. Your working place can be quite a hindrance if it doesn't make you feel happy or relaxed. Creativity comes from being in a good state of mind and a messed up workplace that causes distraction won't be conducive in firing up your creative flow.
Surround your working place with objects that makes you happy and relaxed. You may put up pictures, or scents, objects that inspire, or anything that can get your creativeness cranking. A clean and well organized workplace also rids of distractions and unwanted hindrances. With a good working place, you can work in peace and never notice the time pass by.

4) Set the mood. Setting the mood requires you to just go with the moment or to induce yourself to feeling what makes your mind works best. Finding out what makes you tick could help you find ways to get your creative juices flowing. Set the pace and tempo for your mood and everything else will follow.

There are many ways to set the mood. Some writers have been known to use alcohol, a little sip of wine to stir up the imagination. Some would like some mood music while others let the lighting of the environment create the mood.

5) Go on a getaway and just do something different. Letting yourself go and have fun produces adrenaline that can make your imagination go wild. Take an adventure or a solemn hike. Whatever it is that is unusual from your daily routine can take the rut out of your schedule. In no time at all, your creativeness will make use of that experience and get your imagination to go on overdrive.